butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
