I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
