She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
