i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
