Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
