Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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