He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
