SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
