I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
