he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize