you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
