wat bout pragnant strippers??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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