she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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