she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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