After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
