She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This house was built for laser tag.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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