on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize