I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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