I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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