I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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