I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
