okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
we're so committed to being not committed
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
