If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize