so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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