I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
