There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
