More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
