apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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