I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
