Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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