Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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