I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
