Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
