she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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