Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
