put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
