Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
