Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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