i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
