he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
