I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
