Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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