You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
