just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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