WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
farters have to be the big spoon...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
