Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize