Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
