I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
