if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
