yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
