If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
