Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
