So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
