i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
