The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
