Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
