Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
